“She did that so that every girl that sees my dick for the rest of my life is disappointed.” The king of dig dick energy renounces his title? It’s Prince Harry all over again. Pete Davidson, men’s-rights activist, ladies and gentlemen. Can you imagine if I said that shit? Can you imagine if I was like, ‘Sorry it didn’t work out. First of all, let’s just take a step back. “I don’t like that she talked all the shit on behalf of my dick. To be fair, she’s very nice to Pete in that song. You’re gonna have a rough eight months.’” “Then, that song came out and my friends were like, ‘Bro, I love you. “I walked into Starbucks the other day, I was like, ‘Hey man, can I have a medium coffee?’ and the guy was like “…” and I was like, ‘Fuck you, I’m going to Dunkin’ Donuts.’” “Again, I don’t want no smoke from the 9-year-olds.” “You’re like, ‘Pete, something had to happen to her, right? There had to be some repercussions.’ No, she won Billboard’s Woman of the Year and I got called ‘butthole eyes’ by ” ”įor the record, many comedians have spray-painted themselves brown for worse reasons and still kept their careers. If I spray-painted myself brown and hopped on the cover of Vogue magazine and just started shitting on my ex. Which one of Pete’s four friends walked up to him with a fresh-off-the-presses August issue of Vogue and dished like that? That is messy. She has, you know, her songs and stuff and this is what I have.” “I wasn’t gonna do jokes about this but then my buddy told me … he’s like, ‘Yo, I recently heard that Ariana said she had no idea who you were and that she was just dating you as a distraction.’ So, now I just think it’s, like, fair game. Transitioning from his Dan Crenshaw material to his relationship drama (we didn’t say it was a smooth transition), Pete acknowledges a truth you, me, and all the NBC pages have been trying to block out. I did what, like, Ariana Grande did for me. Eventually, my fear of letting go subsided and developed into a willingness to surrender everything to God.“I did make that guy famous and a household name for no reason. Somehow, when my hands were open and my palms facing heaven, I felt less able to hang on. Subconsciously, I was hanging on for dear life to the things I was afraid to let go. And what was I praying about? How I thought things should work out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself praying with all my might, hands clenched so hard my fingernails had turned white. I noticed another thing about praying with my hands open. Praying with my hands open made me feel so…out there…so…vulnerable.įunny, isn’t that exactly what prayer is all about? Allowing ourselves to become vulnerable to the Eternal Father God? With our hands consciously held open, it’s nearly impossible for our minds and hearts to remain closed. If I wouldn’t look so stupid doing it, I’d probably fold myself into a fetal position. I like to sit forward and clench my hands or even bury my face in my hands. When I pray, I like to turn inward – away from the world. That will remind you to remain completely open to God.”Īt first, I hated praying this way. “When you pray,” he said, “Hold your hands open, with your palms up. A wise mentor taught me to pray with my hands open whenever I find myself overwhelmed by life’s circumstances.
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